Since the last few days I was shattered learning about so many young deaths around me: in my vicinity, my known & unknown groups, in newspapers & TV channels, only one news I would come across- someone died at a very young age.
I too wondered, this was not their age to go, leaving their near & dear ones in so much grief & pain. Also it’s not new that on learning about the death of some celebrity, people easily jump to conclusions. Recently when a Bollywood celebrity died at a young age, media & the common people started gossiping, ‘its due to side effects of too many cosmetic surgeries, too much dieting or drinking habits etc etc’ though she was regular in her exercise, yoga & food habits. The print media did not care for the emotions of the family; the pain & grief the children & the family was going through. In the same way, when a politician died some months back, again media & people around started, ‘she was obese, had diabetes, no exercise’ Both cases had one thing in common, they did not take care of their bodies.
It is really sad that life is taken for granted & death is viewed as an after effect of some mistake done. Isn’t it true that those who are born will die one day?! But I question, why did that 2 year old child die due to some illness or why that 19 year old boy was crushed to death when his bike collided with a speeding truck or that 16 years old minor who was raped by 3 young boys or my niece’s class friend, a 17 years old boy just passed away a few weeks ago. A yoga class friend, 48 years of age, extremely healthy with a regular life style, yoga, exercise & meditation just collapsed one morning. Why?? Why did God decide to end all these lives? Is it that they completed the tasks on this earth assigned to them!
Why? Why? Why? These questions haunt me day & night. How can God be so heartless!
So as a wise person said, “let us not analyze anyone’s death. All are different. Body is just an entity. Our surroundings, our mind often affect our body”. Life & Death are not in our control. One should realize & accept it. In yoga class the first thing taught is , when you wake up in the morning, fold your hands, close your eyes & thank God that you are still alive & today will be a beautiful day.
What a positive thought.
Let us appreciate life when we are still alive. Some souls achieve a lot in a short span of life while some without achieving anything live till old age. This shows, quality of life matters more, not the quantity.
In Buddhism, it is taught not to cling to life or death & it is true. Find the middle road. Don’t get obsessed over death & at the same time don’t deny its thoughts too.
Still, when we lose someone at a very young age, there are so many emotions attached to it. It’s hard, heartbreaking, tough & life changing. Life is so completely changed that one has never thought of. No matter what others say, it never goes away. I feel it’s okay. One is allowed to feel sad & cry if needed.
When we are young we believe, we are invincible & only those who get old, die. But a young death in the family or of near & dear one, leaves us bitter & guarded off from life. That’s the time we try to take solace by thinking, “It happened for a reason”, “It was their time to go”, or “Time is the best healer”. Deep down we all know that time does not always heal. The loss is always there in the back of your mind; when you wake up, go for work or even when you go to bed. Though with time you may not cry that frequently, still it does not mean you are healed. While going through the grief, you always feel, why has that person gone, why you have to suffer, why there couldn’t be anyone else but only your loved one who had to go!!
Some days are hard for you, next Day you may feel little better. That’s fine, okay. This can go on from few weeks to many years, the pain will never go. Losing someone special is not easy & time does not make is better. SO JUST REMEMBER GOOD TIMES SPENT WITH THE DECEASED. You are allowed to cry, scream & get angry when you start missing them. Whatever helps you feel better, do it. But remember, your Loved one is watching over you, so try to Stay Strong.
To sum up, someone has said very meaningfully about Life and Death, “Those who died yesterday, had plans for this morning. And those who died this morning had plans for tonight. Don’t take life for granted. In the blink of an eye, everything can change. So forgive often & love with a full heart. You never know when you may not have that chance again.”
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