Today’s Exams & Stress



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I love flowers; they are so colorful, full of life & spread such a sweet fragrance. So in my garden, I plant many colorful flowers. This time I planted an equal amount of roses & marigolds. I provided enough water, sunlight & manure so that I get the best of them. I used to talk to them everyday, sing songs & nurtured them with much love & care. After a few days , beautiful red roses with a sweet smell started to bloom. But my marigolds were small yellow flowers without any smell or beauty. Why? I was very upset. I took care of both my plants equally then why was one so beautiful and the other not eye-catching at all? I told my marigold, try hard next time, you have to be as beautiful as our red rose. But I wonder is it possible? Can I compare one flower to another? Is it fair?

   This is the same thing with today’s students during their school & college exams. It’s not only the exams of children but of their parents too. Is it a MUST to score higher marks in today’s competitive world? Will it not put pressure on the child? Every parent wants his child to be like a Red Rose & not a Marigold. If the child is an average student, parents cannot tolerate it & ultimately the child becomes the victim of all the anger & frustration.

            “Every time I see the word ‘Explain’ in a Test paper, a part of me dies”.

   Stress in parents & children related to final exams is understandable & one cannot take it for granted. A  little seriousness should be there. Dr Tara Mehta says, “Don’t think stress in life is always bad. Those kids who do not carry stress at all are either over confident or do not care about exams. General anxiety each child will have, like how will the exams go, what will be asked, what if I forget? Etc etc. This type of stress will help the child to prepare for the best.” But for  the children & parents who carry this stress too much, think about failure all the time, surely the result will be  in negative only.

   Experts say, peer pressure, depression, learning disorders & academic stress drive some kids to drugs and alcohol, which is very harmful. Overinvested parents are stressed too. So one has to find a way to deal with all this. Parents should ask themselves how can they reduce the pressure on their children. Instead of asking your child to score the highest, one can tell the child, ‘I just want you to do your best, dear.’ Also try to find out where the pressure comes from? From their peers or teachers or the school? Or is it from within? As parents, let go of your expectations around your child’s results, and instead assure him/her that you will be always be there.

  This stress can also come from lack of preparation, anxiety or nervousness before the final exams, and cut-throat competition among the students to score the highest marks. If a child cannot express to you what worries him, cannot talk about his anxiety, or if he feels that no one understands him; then the stress gets bottled up and it makes the condition  worse.

Here are some points to help your child:

1) Don’t show your tension in front of your child to put him under more stress.

2) Never compare your child with his/her siblings or friends. Remember, each child is different.

3) Don’t have too much expectation if your child is an average student.

4) Regularly have communication with your child & try to know if anything worries him.

5) Feed him with nutritious and healthy food.

6) Support him. Let him have  confidence that you are always there in his good or bad times.

7) Try to solve his problems with an open mind.

As Students, here are some points to keep in mind:

1) Make a study time-table. Keep some time to relax with parents, siblings and friends.

2) Set your goals and try to achieve them.

3) Compete and compare with yourself ONLY.

4) Have full concentration while studying.

5) Never keep your homework or revision pending for the next day.

6) Go out for a stroll after few hours of studying.

7) Get a good night’s sleep for at least 7 to 8 hours.

                “Don’t wait until you reach your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take.”

A  few weeks back India’s Prime Minister Shri Narendra Modi had quite an interesting and interactive session with students across the country. The topic was “Pariksha pe Charcha”.  This was quite motivational and an eye opener for the students. They asked him a number of questions and were extremely satisfied with the answers & guidance. If you have missed it, please search on the web.

Lastly, remember, Our Children are the Future of India. Please do not burden them with too many expectations.

Harsha Mehta.

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